January 8, 2015
"And he answered and said, 'Have ye not read, that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Matthew 19: 4-6
Earlier today I listened to a conversation about non traditional marriage. The conversation included discussions about husbands and wives sleeping in separate rooms. I hardly contributed to the conversation. I mostly listened, but did chime in about an article I'd read discussing non traditional marriage. Among the 10 couples interviewed, two lived in separate homes. I didn't say more because I didn't know what to say. I know what I felt, sad. Is that God's design for marriage? When I think of God's design, that doesn't see to line up to me. In Matthew 19: 4-6, God discusses marriage. That a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife. They are no longer two, but one flesh. How do two become one living life this way? Is it always okay for us to change the dynamics of marriage? If by living separately or sleeping separately is it possible to fall under God's design for marriage? How does He feel about this?
My husband and I took a married life class a few years ago. In that class we learned that our marriage is supposed to be a reflection of the relationship between Christ and His church. We as the church are often referred to as the Bride of Christ in the scriptures. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. (Ephesians 5:24-25)
I have been praying through this one for a moment, asking God for revelation on this. Asking Him to speak to me on this, because it makes my heart hurt. Lord, why does it make my heart hurt when I hear about a husband and wife sleeping in separate rooms or separate households on purpose? I am still waiting on God to speak to me on this.
Maybe it is none of my business. After all, this is not my marriage. I do believe, however, that we are at war with the enemy for our marriages. He comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). Steal our joy, steal our peace, kill our faith and trust in God, and destroy our marriages. I also know that as our marriage is meant to be a reflection of Christ and His bride (the church), when I spend time in the word and with God, I feel most connected to Him and have more confidence in my relationship with Him. This is when I trust Him most, and my faith in Him is strengthened. When I am away from Him, it is much easier for me to lose faith in Him, and my trust is not as strong. I am more likely to question His character, His love for me as well as His motives for what He does in my life.
If all of this is true about the time I spend with God vs. the time I spend away from God, and we are the bride of Christ, would that not also be true with my marriage to my husband? Putting a worldly spin on marriage for our own comfort and satisfaction seems to take away God's initial purpose and vision for what He created it to be. When we follow His guide for marriage, we are more likely to have the solid foundation which can assist in evading cracks. Seems to me that by switching it up to suite our own needs, we leave ourselves susceptible for cracks in the marriage. Cracks in which the enemy can come in and create breaks.
What do you think?