January 3, 2015
(Intended January 3rd, written January 4th)
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Psalm 139:14
I goofed! I totally did not make the time to complete my devotional for this day. How ironic that I would miss finishing my blog the day after after writing about being a sluggard gets you no where and being diligent does...
I kept telling myself, "You need to do your devotional. But I just never got around to it. As time ticked closer to 12 am, I became more and more disappointed in myself. When I looked at the clock and it read, 12:01 am, I felt like a failure. I'd missed a day already. It was only day 3 and I missed a day! I felt like a failure. I felt like a loser. I was so upset with myself and began comparing myself to other more successful people I know. I told myself, "So and So would have made time to get it done. But you failed once again, Patricia..."
I went on and on beating myself up until I drifted off to sleep. The next morning, I started up again, when I was reminded that I missed the 3rd day. But then, instead of going on and on with the negative self talk, I was reminded of my identity in Christ. I was created in His image. Therefore, I am NOT a failure. God is not a failure, and He created me with a purpose. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I needed to believe that. I needed to remember that and stand firmly on that truth. Also, the last thing I needed to do was compare myself to others. God doesn't work like that. He didn't create me so that I could be more like Halle Berry (who was once my hero when I had acting dreams). He created me so that my life could bring Him glory.
I was also reminded of all the times God used certain people in the Bible from what they believed were their "failures": Moses killing an Egyptian, Abraham and Sarah taking having an heir into their own hands, instead of waiting on God, Peter denying Jesus three times...I could go on, but I think you get the point. Each time, these individuals believed they had failed. But God was able to use their missteps for His good and for their glory.
So having this confidence in mind, I was able to admit that I did not complete the task, plan accordingly so that in the future I am more diligent about completing the blog. Just because the individuals mentioned earlier messed up, or didn't do what they said they would do, did not take away from God's ability to use them. Their mishaps did not make them any less loved or accepted by God. The same is true for me. It all starts with remember who I am in Christ and walking in it.