January 12, 2015
"He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler." Psalm 91:4
Parenthood. It is full of challenges and blessings. Nothing like holding your child and watching them sleep peacefully in your arms. There is also nothing like watching them run to you when they see you, and wrapping their arms around you. There is also nothing like having them smack you in the face when you have upset them. Or them not cooperating with you, and crying like you just ended their world, when all you want to do is change their diaper.
Through this parenthood journey, I have had many opportunities for practicing patience, and realized the true meaning of grace and forgiveness. There are moments when I cannot stand to see my son upset about something. For example, he is playing with my tablet and having a grand old time and I take it away. Or I make him stop playing with something inappropriate. I just want him to be happy and smile and giggle. On the other hand, I am his parent. I am older and wiser, and I want him to be safe. It is, after all, my job to protect him.
When I see him go for something on the floor to put in his mouth, yes, he might cry and look at me as if I've broken his heart, but I am doing this to protect him. I had this thought earlier today while missing my son and thinking of his, "you broke my heart" face. Then I realized that God is my heavenly father and He does the same thing for me. He answers prayers. He can move mountains. He is God, Lord of all.
His ability to do anything does not keep Him from saying no. Like a parent, He is able to say no, and at times, He does. Not because He wants to hurt me. At times, he says no in order to protect me. He may also be trying to teach me a lesson. We moved back from LA in May 2011. I was sad, angry and bitter at God for a long time. I could not let go of how I felt. It was as if God had come down and ripped my heart out of my chest and held it over my head staring down at me.
After much praying, meditating, fasting, etc., I did realize that by Him moving us out of LA and sending us back home, He may have been protecting us from something. Or, he might have been teaching us a lesson. God is good. He is our father in heaven, and He wants the very best for His children. If He says no, it is with good reason. He may want us to wait, learn something first, or become better prepared for what we are asking Him for. Or, since He is all knowing, He is able to see what we are not able to see. He knows the outcome, and it may not be what we expect, thus, He wants to protect us.
Like children with their parents, we just need to trust that He has our very best interest at heart.