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Thursday, March 21, 2013

Stumbling Toward Jesus

It has been a very long time since I've been back to this place.  I have often thought about coming back.  But something has kept me away for all this time.  It wasn't just one thing that kept me from coming here.  I had several excuses.  But here I am, once again.

After my Dad passed away, I felt this very intense ache in my heart to sit down and write.  I resisted this urge telling myself it would be too painful or that it would waste my time.  After Marcus and I spent 7 nights sleeping in our car, I knew I needed to do this.  It was more than a thought.  It was a calling.  So one day, while in the library waiting on Marcus to get off of work, I sat down and began writing. 

In order to keep my nerves in check for what I was about to do, I prayed first.  Then I began to write.  I was amazed how the words poured from my pen like a river overflowing.  Each day, I wrote.  Determined to get it all out. 

When I reentered the workforce, my writing slowed down.  Never far from my mind, my need to finish the book pressed on my insides like a dull, nagging ache.  So a year later, I made myself sit and write again.  I prayed, I wrote.  I looked over what I'd already written.  I made changes, I wrote more.  I took things out, and added other things.  I prayed more.  And I finished it.  The work is called, Stumbling Toward Jesus.  It is my testimony about the truly amazing work God has done in my life thus far.  It is my song of worship to Him. 

I wondered if I wrote it for myself.  As a way to heal.  Then I realized that was just the fear I had of sharing some of my deepest and and darkest moments with others.  I believe I was given an amazing gift in my writing.  Gifts are not meant to be hidden, but shared with others.  So without fear, I share my gift with you.

I always wanted to write a book.  I never thought it would be something like this.  Through this book, I'm reminded of God's promise from Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called  according to his purpose."

I give God the glory and the praise for what He's done. 

Stumbling Toward Jesus

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